Buzz and Sam

My old friend Buzz married his partner, Sam, yesterday evening in Sacramento. It was a wonderful wedding, full of hilarity, a bit of camp, some tears and lots and lots of joy. The ceremony was officiated by state Sen. Darrell Steinberg, and the guests included Heather Fargo, the current mayor of Sacramento, and many other local Democratic party notables. They were there as friends of the couple—Sam has long been active in Democratic circles, as both a legislative aide and an activist for equal rights for gays and lesbians—and to celebrate what all of us there knew is a huge, huge step out of the dark ages for same-sex couples.

So after Sen. Steinberg said those words so many thought they would not live to hear ("By the power vested in me by the State of California and before these witnesses, I now pronounce you husband and husband!") there was music, and dancing (the newlyweds' first dance was to Etta James' "At Last"), and food and wine and champagne and wedding cake. And at some point in the celebrating, maybe it was when the best men were offering a toast, or when Buzz and Sam were dancing, or maybe just standing together talking, I was struck almost physically with the reality: They are married. This hadn't been play-acting, or pretending and hoping, or even a commitment ceremony—Buzz and Sam are married. It seems at once so logical and natural and so odd and unreal. I try (and so far have failed) to conjure up an analogy, some situation that would evoke in me the same mix of happiness and disbelief. But who cares? It's enough to know that despite the utter improbability of it all, it really is true. Hell is freezing over, and not a moment too soon.